eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
