At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
