I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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