Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
