WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
