Got a toothbrush?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
