i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
