I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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