I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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