it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
