Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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