She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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