Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
