Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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