i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
