we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
