you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
