K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
