I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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