He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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