My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
