should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
