I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
