There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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