so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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