Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
