She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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