They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The cops high fived after they tackled you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
