i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
