Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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