Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
