i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
