I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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