Non-Jews are for practice
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
