I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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