first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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