All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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