I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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