so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
