considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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