I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
