i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
