At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
