babies were throwing up all over the place
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i now understand why vodka
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize