I accidentally had phone sex last night
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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