Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
