I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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