I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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