im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
