When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
