ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
