Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
