the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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