And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
