Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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