I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
