If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
