Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
