Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
