Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
