Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
