I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
