He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
